You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
