Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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