is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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