Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Randomize