so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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