Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
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i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
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i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize