I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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