I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
