I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
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