South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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