Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
