Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
