Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
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Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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