forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
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look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
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They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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