your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize