Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
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The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
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Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
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