Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I am mentally ready for anal.
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