i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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