I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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