it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
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