She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Randomize
