Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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