Texts From Last Night

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  (407): View more from Florida

  I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms

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  (407): I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms http://tfl.nu/rxh4
  Replies (5) Good night (766) Bad night (1147)
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  (212): View more from New York

  so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.

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  (212): so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is. http://tfl.nu/r3y5
  Replies (8) Good night (905) Bad night (1520)
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  (514): View more from Quebec

  just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.

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  (514): just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed. http://tfl.nu/qdrd
  Replies (29) Good night (1848) Bad night (24106)
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  (352): View more from Florida

  I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.

  (352): View more from Florida

  Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.

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  (352): I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself. (352): Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad. http://tfl.nu/hkrc
  Replies (41) Good night (1665) Bad night (4142)
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  (562): View more from California

  If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up

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  (562): If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up http://tfl.nu/jdv3
  Replies (24) Good night (11995) Bad night (1380)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.

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  (217): It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way. http://tfl.nu/sqy6
  Replies (5) Good night (2294) Bad night (1590)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years

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  (425): we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years http://tfl.nu/w11g
  Replies (2) Good night (1209) Bad night (555)
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  (1616): View more from

  I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .

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  (1616): I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit . http://tfl.nu/6sx7
  Replies (8) Good night (582) Bad night (1077)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  (540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?

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  (540): (540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable? http://tfl.nu/oc1y
  Replies (4) Good night (914) Bad night (575)
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  (516): View more from New York

  today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.

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  (516): today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror. http://tfl.nu/6dpn
  Replies (1) Good night (763) Bad night (451)
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  (863): View more from Florida

  Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.

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  (863): Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house. http://tfl.nu/4quh
  Replies (6) Good night (992) Bad night (477)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.

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  (425): I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep. http://tfl.nu/3psv
  Replies (0) Good night (407) Bad night (329)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology

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  (717): im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology http://tfl.nu/f7q0
  Replies (6) Good night (756) Bad night (262)
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  (323): View more from California

  I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.

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  (323): I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark. http://tfl.nu/y5i1
  Replies (2) Good night (503) Bad night (208)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons

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  (201): If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons http://tfl.nu/cqi1
  Replies (0) Good night (450) Bad night (220)

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