his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby