Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

Favorite
(405): View more from Oklahoma

I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(405): I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus. http://tfl.nu/spp0

Replies (33) Good night (746) Bad night (5679)
Favorite
(308): View more from Nebraska

Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(308): Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies. http://tfl.nu/eijo

Replies (20) Good night (8054) Bad night (862)
Favorite
(732): View more from New Jersey

why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?

(1-732): View more from New Jersey

shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(732): why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon? (1-732): shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work http://tfl.nu/tkf9

Replies (18) Good night (6572) Bad night (1216)
Favorite
(270): View more from Kentucky

they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(270): they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out.. http://tfl.nu/o5dk

Replies (19) Good night (5747) Bad night (1371)
Favorite
(509): View more from Washington

I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(509): I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here. http://tfl.nu/f99e

Replies (19) Good night (1588) Bad night (5480)
Favorite
(641): View more from Iowa

Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(641): Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in. http://tfl.nu/co4b

Replies (16) Good night (4230) Bad night (1178)
Favorite
(316): View more from Kansas

The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(316): The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts. http://tfl.nu/ngvo

Replies (54) Good night (8895) Bad night (1789)
Favorite
(315): View more from New York

15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(315): 15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that... http://tfl.nu/f0xw

Replies (4) Good night (1489) Bad night (666)
Favorite
(801): View more from Utah

Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(801): Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air http://tfl.nu/f3ea

Replies (5) Good night (1016) Bad night (609)
Favorite
(206): View more from Washington

I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(206): I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him... http://tfl.nu/o74a

Replies (6) Good night (931) Bad night (553)
Favorite
(425): View more from Washington

Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(425): Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants http://tfl.nu/y64s

Replies (7) Good night (1580) Bad night (1002)
Favorite
(937): View more from Ohio

Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.

(415): View more from California

Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(937): Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given. (415): Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes? http://tfl.nu/8d8c

Replies (4) Good night (1072) Bad night (599)
Favorite
(617): View more from Massachusetts

Do you think the firemen will remember me?

(315): View more from New York

Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(617): Do you think the firemen will remember me? (315): Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants. http://tfl.nu/g199

Replies (2) Good night (520) Bad night (560)
Favorite
(510): View more from California

i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(510): i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was http://tfl.nu/ppih

Replies (1) Good night (532) Bad night (421)
Favorite
(310): View more from California

But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(310): But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed http://tfl.nu/xqug

Replies (0) Good night (241) Bad night (368)

Randomize

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Find Us On: