Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.