who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
whose parrot is this?
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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