I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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