watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
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