mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
