What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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