Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Randomize