Yo dont text me then not text me
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize