if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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