Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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