the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Randomize
