He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
