I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
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you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
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We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
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