It's Friday. Sex?
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
