My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
