Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
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No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
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When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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