mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
