dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
