i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
