im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
do herpes really smell.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions