Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Randomize
