that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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