I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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