Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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