i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
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