PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
