she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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