I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize