If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
